Poetry: Ants
I hate the people around you,
As if your soul is finite
And they are taking up more than their fair share.
And if your soul is finite
Then someone owes me $5,
And I can put this guilt to rest.
I once snuck out my window and stood there,
In the wet leaves and nighttime mist
Just to see my room from the outside.
I realized we are all goldfish
And bit my nails out of embarrassment.
Today in the car
A beautiful boy who is not you
Asked me why I had a stress ball in my center console,
And it took me ten minutes to say “dissociation.”
I wish I’d just kissed him.
And sometimes there are so many people in my house
That I sit in the bathroom and
Do not scream
(there’s someone outside the door)
And even when they finally leave
I can feel their warmth
Indented onto my couch.
I am tired of you being too tired,
But when you are tired, you go to sleep
And when I am tired, I bite my nails
Out of embarrassment for being tired.
This is the story of a fine line,
And I’m watching the ants
struggle to balance.