On a hot summer evening

You decide you’re unhappy

with your look

with your “vibe”

no better person to be

than the person you want to be

but aren’t

You schedule an appointment

and stay awake for days

looking at pictures

dreaming of who you could be just based on what you look like

The day comes

and the floor is covered

with a fibrous lava 

fallen from your uneasy head

It becomes who you are

a sense of a false identity

you only sorta identify with.

leading to generalizations and stereotypes

you will struggle to break for years 

You’ll have to explain to yourself

the look of people's faces

when you tell them you have a boyfriend,

why you aren’t wanted at sleepovers. 

Around year two of the cut

you’ll be more than tired of it

you’ll hate the way it falls on your face when you work

how it falls straight down the middle and stays

You start asking your friends

“should i rewind?”

change to fit my times?

but that’s just not how they see you

they “can’t even picture you with long hair”

As if it’s the most important part of your being. 

As if you’re just destined to be portrayed as you chose to be when you were in 8th grade.

You are not the same person that you were,

why still be stereotyped as her?

Without telling anyone you let it grow.

It takes forever

patience is required

frustration is expected.

but looking in the mirror a few months down the road

and seeing your hair curl as it used to

makes it all worth it.